Dope Boy Fresh!!!!

My mom (shouts out to mommy!!!) sent me an e-mail today, with this picture attached. I have no clue who this cat is, or who cut his hair (I'd LOVE to know who, on either account), but this is pretty dope! I can appreciate the talent it requires to shave the next President of the United States into the back of someone's head. And the fact that it's a Black man, makes it that more dope!!! I mean let's face it - nobody would shave McSenile in the back of their head (unless they have hella wrinkles, lol)...
File that under FRESH!!!

Why Crown Royal is On Ice.....

Bonita always says, "CR we love your politics, music, and stuff....but our readers want to know about the real Crown Royal, the lover...." And truthfully, I've attempted to publish my fair share of blogs about the more personal things that swirl around inside my head. But alas, they always end up as eternal drafts. But I'm determined for this one to see the light of day - if for no other reason, than to say "I told you I would" to Bonita. Heeeere we go....


Moment of Truth#1: Hi, my name is Crown Royal, and I have a problem....


I'm a mellow kinda gal, with a very casual approach to life. It takes a lot to piss me off. A lot. I've dealt with liars, cheaters, back-stabbing friends, failed relationships...the whole nine. But through all my college years (you know, those years when you really learn who you are), I've managed to flip out...like twice. Two whole times. For the most part, I had a kind of 'whatever' attitude towards the things life has thrown my way. If I had a motto, it would probably be "Meh...it is what it is." Sounds cool right? To go through life not being a certified psycho? Meh...it is what it is (lol). I've come to realize my demeanor, although casual in origin, is nothing more than a defense mechanism, and the jury is still out on whether its a good or bad thing. The bottom line is that this mellow exterior makes it difficult for me to express sincere and true emotion.


Moment of Truth #2: Objects in mirror are NOT how they appear.


I guess the best way to explain what this all means, is through looking at a recent experience....

When things went sour in my last relationship, I felt like I had lost everything I had come to be secure in. There is nothing like working through the termination of a long-term relationship, to test your emotional strength, sanity, patience and character. In the eight months it took me to get over my ex, (yes I said eight months...it took that long, whether you believe it or not) I learned a lot about myself, and my growth as a woman. My first epiphany was that my collected, nonchalance and composure was a defense mechanism (see Moment of Truth #1). I've always known I have a real problem expressing my truest emotions. Not walking around saying people do, but I really couldn't deal with being hurt. I've basically gone throughout my relationships risking just enough to be invested, but not enough to get hurt.


All of that changed, with my last relationship. Every wall I had spent 21 years building was torn down. Every safeguard dismantled. So when it ended I was a mess. But very, very, very, very few people knew - like 2. I didn't even have the heart to tell some of my closest friends about what I was feeling. Everyone else really had no idea what I was going through, what I was dealing with because in the face of appearing emotionally weak or vulnerable, I managed to force out my mild mannered motto. Besides, with my involvement in other ventures, I absolutely refused to be the girl that couldn't put her emotions aside to get work done, or the girl that brought her drama wherever she went.


But pretty soon, my motto stopped working. I mean it worked externally, but internally I was a mess. By stifling my emotions, they poured out in other ways, that were completely uncharacteristic. I teetered along that borderline of crazy for a second. I did things that I criticized immature, insecure, psychobitches for doing. But the time finally came, when I had to finally face my fears - expressing my emotions.I had to be okay with feeling lonely. I grew to accept that it was okay to cry (alone - we aren't even talking about in front of people yet). Once I got over the initial embarrassment of shedding a few tears, I began to open up and be real with myself, about exactly what I was feeling. I wrote my truest thoughts, and feelings in a small journal. Opening up, releasing this burden I felt pressured to bear alone, suddenly made each subsequent day easier to face. I began to slowly build the confidence to know that it was okay to be unguarded, and it was okay to feel. I didn't always have to push my motto so hard.


Moment of Truth #3: Each Day Gets Better....

As the 'one year later' mark approaches, I can honestly say that I feel good. I'm free to do what I want, and not bound by any unresolved emotions, bad blood, or desperation. My easygoing nature has returned, but not as a defense mechanism. I can honestly say this is truly who I am, without having to safeguard anything. In rediscovering that 23 isn't exactly as old as I thought it was, I've resolved to take full advantage of my youth, and do whatever I want, while I can. I don't have kids. And for the most part, I don't have any real responsibilities. These are years I can't pause or get a refund on. So I'm determined to have fun with them. Dating and relationships are even fun now. I'm not looking to replace anything, or fill a void in my life, because I'm happy being me. It may sound cliche, but you've gotta know how to make you happy, before anyone else can. I'm glad I learned that.


If you take nothing else from this blog, at least remember this: don't allow yourself to be bound by maintaining a certain image, or modify your behavior to be something you aren't. The greatest disservice you can do to yourself is hinging your happiness, or self satisfaction on that of someone else. Sorry if I sound a little preachy, but it's the truth. You won't understand how true it is, until you are forced to learn it.


Crown Royal is On Ice - she's not cold, but definitely chillin.

P.S. Bonita - I told you I would :)

Gonna Party Like It's 1984....

The sky is falling! The sky is falling! Oh wait, my bad...that's just the Dow Jones. Same difference.

During my brief hiatus from LuvBomb, I had the awesome opportunity to witness a number of my friends wiggin' out about the continuing and recent failings of America - from why we're still in Iraq, why folks are losing houses like socks in the laundry, and why Dubbya is hardcore earning the title of Bailout Bush before his reign of incompetence comes to an end. Even more entertaining has been judging the reactions - from anger to absolute bewilderment - of my friends with every new breaking development of the Republican campshame; why McPain is "suspending" his, and why news reporters are no longer allowed to expose America's Favorite Incompetent Hockey Mom for the waste of stem cells she is.

The swirls manufactured truths, the stench of deceit, the corruption overload, is smeared across the face of this country kinda like....lipstick on a pig (imagine that!). Or more like Oceania in George Orwell's 1984. A closer look into this "far-fetched" novel some cat wrote in the 1920's as his conception of how things would look in the year 1984 raises some interesting points:
1.) The Party / Big Brother: Signs everywhere. BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU. He sees you, he is listening, and even what you're thinking. Spies and informants are everywhere - controlling you, your every word, your every action, your every thought, and ultimately your life. What'd you say about the Patriot Act?
2.)The Ministry of Truth: Today, the newspapers say "we are at war with country A ,for reasons x, y, and z." Tomorrow, "as we said before, we are fighting x, y, and z, through war with country B." Suddenly, everyone forgets what the truth and the root of the issues were, because the government ultimately controls and manipulates the media to communicate whatever messages it chooses. Afghaniraq, anyone? Or for that matter, [insert skewed media coverage incident here]. Don't worry, I'll wait.
3.) Newspeak: Inherently contradictory jargon, aimed at distorting the truth, while creating the dichotomy of good and bad. Popular examples from the book include "WAR IS PEACE", "FREEDOM IS SLAVERY" and "IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH". Imagine that....kinda like saying "I'm going to suspend my campaign to focus on the economic crisis." Nice try, McSenile, but those of us with at least two active brain cells have figured out that your suspension is a campaign in and of itself.

At the end of the day, Orwell was before his time, in terms of exposing the notion of government deception and control of people through psychological manipulation. Although he pegged it at '84, we now see that the shelf-life of the Matrix is much longer....

Indulge me on my soap box for a little while longer.... But I can't seriously be the only one that saw the hard financial fall coming. Maybe it's cause and effect, maybe it's karma. It might even be an act of god. But one thing is for sure - the economic downfall of America has been brewing for quite some time. Budget deficits, misappropriations of funds, increasing national debt, yadda yadda yadda. We all knew what was up, but nobody really cared a few years, or even shit, a few months ago for that matter. Maaaaybe just maaaaybe we are all a little more ideologically American than we are comfortable believing or admitting. We turned a cold shoulder to the skyrocketing unemployment rates across the nation until we all graduated from college and couldn't find jobs. We could've cared less about the number of homeless persons rising, until the news told us these homeless people were working class people out on a loan turned bad, and that we could be next. That's the true American spirit of selfishness shining through - I don't care what happens, until it affects me personally.

So now we frantically and emphatically target Bush and his cronies (believe me, I am in NO way defending them) for basically bailing out companies their retirement pensions and stocks are invested in. But they're just protecting their interests, looking out for numero uno, right? Whether it's a $700,000 home, or a $700 billion dollar bailout, it's still self preservation - as American as apple pie.

And face it - you are too.

-- Crown Royal On Ice --

Quote of the Day

CR: ...You act like guys dont hit on you everwhere you go. Not saying u gotta give thugalicious your number, but be more open.

B: Ew, but I hate guys. I lightweight wanna be gay, but I'm just not.

CR: That's when you know you're not ready for a relationship...when changing ur sexual orientation seems like a better option.

Quote of the Day

B: I hate responsibilities. Even when they aren't real world responsibilities, like kids and mortgages, they're responsibilities nonetheless.



CR: Well, unfortunately.... there's nothing left after this but real responsibility.



B: Sigh...That's depressing.

For Every Action...?

If there's one thing I hope Progressive Americans don't learn from this long, treacherous, overbearing, slightly annoying election season is to be reactionary.

Being reactionary in one sense means that, as individuals, the only time we seek power or influence is when we seek to take it from others, as opposed to independently critically assessing a situation and acting accordingly. In another context, reactionary individuals also resist progress and seek to return to the "good ol' days" (before Abortion was a woman's choice and when women were told what to say by men before being interviewed on national televion) and tend to lie to the far right of the political spectrum.

The Good OLD Days?

Most Americans, though they may claim to be liberal, are, in fact, highly reactionary individuals by both definitions. For example, the new 3G Iphone is released and there are 5 hour lines just waiting for the chance to dump their old (6month old) Iphone just for a slightly thinner, slightly faster model. You see, Apple produces an action, and the American public reacts. Example 2, Facebook creates the Newsfeed feature, and its WWIII. (I even created a group in protest of the newsfeed). I'm partly a conspiracy theorist so I really don't think it's any mistake that consumerism and capitalism drive this country when those two ideologies are rooted in the fact that you have to be a reactionary person to even moderately participate in them.


Not to say that Obama is pure and untainted from the urge to be reactionary, but he's doing a pretty damn good job of showing us how politics/ real lives should be run. (Imagine life always being like it is on the Hills: Don't hang out with LC or else Spencer WILL react and kick you out of his family.)

For those of you who quite didn't understand why anyone would want to speak softly and carry a big stick (so to speak), this represents real political change. Obama's campaign tactics are less about being the bigger man and taking the high road and more "I'm not going to get up and jump everytime this crazy White man/woman says some bullshit about me."

Can you imagine if the American government reacted to every snide remark/gossip tidbit/unsubstantiated threat ever made against us? We'd be at war with some guy named Terror looking for Weapons of Mass Destr--you see...

Unfortunately, the success of overall destructive politics rests on the fact that Americans are, in fact, reactionary people. This is also why McPalin offends me as deeply as they do- they don't believe that the American people can be anti-reactionary (we'll define this as intellegent).

Here are three examples of just how reactionary the McSityouroldassdown campaign has been:

1- Embittered Hillary supporters looking for a woman in office? I got a woman, right here! She's cool, just like the 3G Iphone.

2- The American people like to hear the word change, huh? Well call me a "MAVERICK!"

3- Yes, I did believe that "...the fundamentals of our economy are strong," but now that Wall Street has melted down, I'll revise that statement and declare the economy to be "in crisis."

You see, McCain only reacts to something external to his own percieved intellectual analysis of the country as it truly is. Boo to that.

Meanwhile, if it's any indication from the quote below, my fear is that key Democrats will fail to ride with Obama on the I'm-an-intellect-lemme-do-me-'cause-I-got-this-in-the-bag train and derail the Obama campaign from the progressive track it's on:

"It's time to dump Biden and replace him with Sen. Hillary Clinton," said Andy Ostroy on the Huffington Post Monday. "I'm starting to think that if Team Obama doesn't do something dramatic fast, it's gonna lose this election."

Now, LuvBomb is Team Obama all the way, all day, but, man, won't we be disappointed if they start playin' the same tricks on the American people that McIcan'tbelieveitsnotawrapforthisguy has been playing? (That, in itself, would be like waiting hours in line at the Apple store for an Iphone, throwing away your Blackberry, dealing with all the bugs with the Iphone, then turning on the TV to find that they've released the 3G...ahhh capitalism based on reactionary citizens at its best!)

More Palin jokes

5 Cool and Unbelievable Things you too can do according to Sarah "I- can -see -Russia -from- an-island-in-Alaska-therefore-I'm-an-expert-on-foriegn-affairs-in-Russia" Palin:

1- If you can see the sky, you are automatically qualified to be an Airforce Commander

2- If you ever see Britney Spears in Malibu, you, too, can win 3 VMA's while wearing a pink wig, talking in a British accent, sipping Frappacinos and Red Bull, eating Cheetos, all without producing any hit songs.

Pictured Below: Brit-Brit circa Two-thousand-Crazy.

3- If you can see dead people, you're dead.

4- If you see the new Jaguar, then I'm not even hatin' beause you're baaaallin'.

5- If you can see the White House on a postcard your Aunt Sally sent you on a recent trip to Washington D.C., then you may be on your way to being Vice President and your name is Sarah Palin.

The "C" word

In church this Sunday, Pastor John over at F.A.M.E told the story of shamed Detroit Mayor, Kwame Kilpatrick, who was caught up in a vicious sex scandal and was brought down in the worst way from office... Think the Michael Vick of politicians.

Not quite sure where Pastor John was going with this, I was surprised when he highlighted a quote that had been stated by Kilpatrick, "...Detroit you have set me up for a comeback." I heard a couple of people in the church sigh and "pssh" at this, just like you may be.

Though Kilpatrick clearly isn't the posterchild for good Christian boys and certainly didn't place his statement in a religious context, Pastor John's sermon expanded on Kilpatrick's quote as holding a deeper meaning- that we are constantly just being set up for a come back, even when times are tough, and even when as a result of our own bad choices.

Although this isn't exactly a new revelation in the church, it got me thinking of all the times I've made "comebacks," and realized that most of them have been small, albeit significant. My greatest revelation, however, is that while we may be set up for our respective comebacks, the ensuing comeback may not be the comeback we were expecting. Unfortuantely, the fact that we don't make it back to where we exactly envision ourselves, sometimes blinds us to the fact that we've made any sort of comeback at all.

Of course, I don't claim to be a spiritual guidance counselor, but I can't help but think that our unwillingness/inability to see that we've made comebacks in our lifetime is a key reason why some of us may never reach our full potential. We get so caught up in what we think we haven't accomplished that we don't realize that we could be doing so much more in the positions that we're currently in. In short, we become our biggest haters- like we ain't spit if we aren't homeowners six months after college graduation.

Can Somebody Please Explain to Me What the Vice President Does?

I've decided to stand up and fight - on behalf of women and people with at least 2 functioning brain cells everywhere. Sarah Palin's bid for Vice President is offensive, and an insult to the intelligence of the American public. Now I've never been one to advocate that Americans are the brightest people, or that we (sigh, it hurts to say that sometimes) share the same intense work ethic that propels other countries forward, but the hijinks and shenanigans of the OldFart/DumbAss '08 are just down right ridiculous.

Watching the Charles Gibson interview on ABC last night (and again today on YouTube), I laughed on the phone with Bonita about how incredibly dumb Sarah Palin is, and how we might as well go ahead and undo the 19th Amendment, and pack our bags for the Motherland if this shit flies. In my day-to-day slander and defamation of McCain and Palin, I find myself more and more convinced that my 4 year old nephew is more prepared to run this country than they are.

Just in case you can't quite figure out why I absolutely abhor McCain and Palin, I have a few educational videos that I would like to share. Prior to Palin's selection as VP running mate, she made it CRYSTAL CLEAR that she has no idea what the Vice President of the United States does. As a matter of fact, she said exactly that:



In case you missed it (or like me, don't have the luxury of indulging in morning TV during the week), John McCain was on The View. If this wasn't a ploy to secure the soccer mom vote, I don't know what it is. But to Barbara, Whoopi n' them's credit, they didn't make this an easy PR move for McCain. Low key, he got grilled. Some of my favorite moments:

Barbara: How is Sarah Palin going to reform Washington, as a Republican, when the Republicans have been running the country for the past 8 years, and her running mate has spent 22 years in Washington as a Senator and Congressman?

Whoopi: [In reference to John McCain's belief of strict constitutional interpretation] Should I be worried about becoming a slave again?



Everyone also made a big hooplah about ABC's Charles Gibson getting the first ever interview with Sarah Palin. Boy, I bet the Elephant camp regrets that choice.... He surely solidified and broadcast to the world that Sarah Palin is an absolute moron, who knows nothing outside the confines of Alaska (and even her knowledge about that is questionable at best). I bet after this interview, she went home and Googled "Bush Doctrine" and "US Diplomacy" to brush up on some of the good ol' stuff she'll need to know the next time somebody asks her a question.



The parts of the interview you missed:

Gibson: I already know you're an idiot, but just for shits and giggles, tell me if you really believe you're prepared for this job.
Palin: What job?
Gibson: Vice President of the United States.
Palin: Who said I was doing that? I don't even know what that means.
Gibson: I figured as much. Moving on, what do you think about the war in Iraq?
Palin: I just sent my son. He will come back safe and sound, just like all the troops will.
Gibson: Dear God, you can't be this dumb.
Palin: Of course I can, Charlie!
Gibson: Shit. [Sigh]...what do you think about the Bush Doctrine?
Palin: I really believe that you should wax, or at least shave. Don't be unkept - you never know what will happen, Charlie.
Gibson: Do you agree with and believe in the sovereignty of Georgia from Russia?
Palin: Russia has no right to try to take over one of our states!
Gibson: Damnit bitch, have you ever been outside of the country?
Palin: Of course! I just went to school in Idaho, its not like I live in the rural part of Alaska, Charlie.
Gibson: Fuck. I give up. [Wilson proceeds to snatch off mics, and pull a Kanye on the cameras.]

Okay, forreal, I'm really gonna go on hiatus now. No I'm not - part deuce of this BS comes on tonight. I'll blog on that, then go on hiatus.

-- Crown Royal On Ice --

He Went Hard as the Hood He's From....

(Picture: Crown Royal On Ice)

TMZ. Media Takeout. National Enquirer. America's favorite news sources aren't actually "news" sources at all. But if you're looking for Britney's latest order from Starbucks or what brand of gum Kobe chews, they've got it on lock. An occasional victim of TMZ and Media Takeout myself, I was caught off guard when Bonita said "Hey, did you hear that Kanye got arrested?", so I went straight to the source of the lowest form of journalism for the scoop.

Headlines everywhere blared "Kanye West Arrested at LAX on Vandalism Charges", and proceeded to tell the story about how he and his body guard did a grab and smash on some TMZ pappers camera. Okay, I'm still looking for the bottom line, so I watched the video.

We all know I love Kanye, and I give him as much grief as I do praise, but damnit, this is ALL OUT RIDICULOUS. Honestly, I'm pissed off that he didn't do MORE to this guy. Yeah, its bad for PR, but let's think about this on a basic, human level (after all, despite what any of us may think, he IS human, until proven otherwise...). How many club fights have started, all from just someone being looked at wrong? Now then think about how YOU would react if someone followed you constantly barraged you with cameras, dug through your trash, and surrounded your car and prevented you from getting where you needed to go, on a regular, if not daily basis???? You'd flip, right? I would. And the lame dude has the nerve to have video of him saying how afraid he is of Ye. GET THE F**K OUTTA HERE!!! Even I'M not afraid of Kanye!

Some people make the argument that it's just the price of fame, the price of living your life in the spotlight. And truthfully, I rarely ever feel sorry for people with more money than they could spend in 10 lifetimes, but this is honestly ridiculous. At some level, everyone has a right to privacy, and to not have every single last detail of their life exposed through the lens of a camera. Yet by that same token, some of us are to blame - we feed and feed into this shit. We run out and buying stupid plastic striped aviators because Kanye wore them, or switch from Orbit to 5Gum because Lindsey Lohan said it's delicious. We are the ones that keep trying to figure out if Chris Brown and Rihanna are dating, and what store Paris Hilton bought her ugly dog's leash from.

Whoever's fault it is, the bottom line is, you get what you deserve. Nobody forced this sap stalk Kanye in LAX. As a matter of fact, they've got footage from other times they've tried to film Kanye, and he and his body guard tactfully explained that it was not going down that way. A hard head makes a soft ass, and somebody shoulda beat his.

-- Crown Royal On Ice--

P.S. - My new prediction that the media and McCain's tired ass camp, in all their infinite wisdom will attempt to draw some correlation between Kanye playing into the "angry black man" stereotype, and Barack Obama. Mark my words.

--------------------------------------------------------------
Editor's Note: Crown Royal will be taking a brief vacay from LB to get her ish together. But don't worry, she'll be back soon.

Original Quote of the Day

CR- ...We have a phrase for guys like him: "He's like water."

B- What does that mean?

CR- Like, water : Good, nothing necesecarily bad, but just nothing distinct about it. Nothing about him stands out, or has any flavor.

B- Yah he is pure, filtered water. Not ocean water- not even lake water. He's Aquafina water.

CR- ...Even dirty fishtank water is better. Even if its bad, it has SOME character.

Playing the Same Old Games...

Just in case you missed it on the Facebook News Feed (or we're not Facebook friends lol)... A friend of mine posted a note about how slick the Republicans think they are:

Uppity. An effective connotation to put an educated black man (and his wife in place). This insult was hurled at Barack and Michelle Obama by Georgia Congressman Westmoreland. And this wasn’t a slip of the tongue, he later defended this statement. Clearly this statement was interjected to remind Georgian voters (where the traditional republican stronghold is extremely close 44 percent to 48 percent) that Obama is just a ‘uppity’ black man.

These insult was popular during slavery as slaves who worked in the field called ‘house-negroes’ this term- uppity. This correlation is strong as it feeds into the false theme that Obama is an elitist. But what’s funny is how the tables have turned and why the congressman is putting himself in the shoes of a field-working slave in order to disparage the Obamas. Clearly the republicans are attempting to build a majority of ‘working people’ who abstain from uppity negroes This reeks of the Willie Lynch papers, but inviting the ‘workers’ into this discussion. But instead of dividing people by shades of black, the new tactic is to divide by class.
- EJ Alford

And here's what I had to say:

This shit happens all the time, when the GOP, or any conservative group fears a loss of power/stronghold. The mudslinging tactics, the deliberate mislabeling and conjuring of images of Obama as everything from a terrorist to uppity negro, and even the recent media circus around his "lipstick on a pig" comment are old, tired, and trifilin'. I'm surprised there aren't photoshopped pictures of him snorting lines of coke with Lil Wayne circulating around on the internet, for that matter. These folks will stop at nothing to undermine and undercut the legitimacy of worthy competition.

The bottom line is, this is NOTHING new. If we go ALLLLL the way back to the founding documents of this country, the conservative framework from the outset has been based upon the premise that the American public is a bunch of blundering fools, and cannot be trusted to make critical decisions about legislation and who should run the country. Why do you think we have an electoral college? The entire point is that the GOP has always treated the American public like we are damned idiots unfit to make a decision. This election REEKS of that belief...cough, cough, Sarah Palin. As a matter of fact, the entire Elephant circus at this point relies not on developing a framework to address critical issues of this country (the economy, the war, the fact that gas will cost me my firstborn child, etc.), but rather banks on the fact that we have the mental capacity of a goldfish. That's exactly why stupid shit like "uppity" and "Obama/Osama" and every other image will continue to surface until he is elected in November, well honestly, it will continue after that.

My next prediction: they (meaning conservatives/republicans/right-wing media) will try to draw some parallel between Obama verbally attacking Palin and licentious Black men that prey on "pure" white women. Mark my words.

And they will continue to do it, because they think we're that damn dumb, and as racist and sexist as they are.

-- Crown Royal On Ice --

In Order to Survive, You Gotta Learn to Live With Regrets....

I’m not a very emotional person. As a matter of fact, I have a hard time opening myself up to people. I don’t get loud and theatrical, and I absolutely hate crying…yet I can’t stop the tears from streaming onto my keyboard. I stopped myself about 15 times from writing this, because of how open and vulnerable it leaves me. But if I don't get this out right now, I won't ever tell anyone.

Today marks the 2nd year of the passing of my Grandfather, who in many ways was the stitching and the glue that held our family together. Two years later, things aren’t the same without him around.

His passing hits me especially hard. My sister and I stuck close to our grandparents as many kids do, growing up. We were there at their house on Hobart Blvd. religiously for every weekend, holiday, and sometimes during the school week just because. We learned so many things from them – from sign language and how to cook, to how to bowl or love someone unconditionally. I come from a family that really hasn’t suffered any major blows or tragedies (even through Katrina), so I was nowhere near prepared to handle the passing of one of my closest, most loved family members.

His passing is especially hard for me, given where I was and what I was doing on the days leading up to September 9th, 2006. I recall my grandfather being hospitalized in the intensive care unit of Kaiser Hospital on Sunset. I visited him twice with my family while he was there, which I agonize over frequently. I could have gone more. While I was on campus running around, doing stuff that really doesn't mean shit now, other family members had re-arranged their schedules to be with him around the clock. But what I beat myself up about the most is the exact weekend it happened – I was packing to go on a staff retreat in Big Bear. I didn’t even make time to visit him before I left. He passed on the first night of the retreat, around 1am. To this day, I absolutely regret having such fucked up priorities that I didn’t afford myself the opportunity to spend more time with such an important person. I didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye. I don’t walk around harboring a bunch of ‘coulda, woulda, shouldas’, and I rarely regret anything I say or do. But this one thing, I can’t let go. I took for granted the people that I love the most.

My Grandpa was so proud of his granddaughters - one college graduate about to get married and begin her own family, and the other right on her heels. I wanted him at my graduation, to see the manifestation of all his love and support. I miss him so much, and so does my family. Please, if you do nothing else today, call your family members and tell them you love them. Spend some time with close friends and people that mean the world to you. Because I didn’t – and two years later, I still haven’t forgiven myself.

-- Crown Royal On Ice --

If Hip Hop Is Dead, MTV is the Cremator....

Congratulations MTV, you managed to pique my interest in your damned Video Music Awards show. I fell right in to your marketing trap for a quick-witted Brit with a sense of humor, who’s name and bio I had to Google in order to find out who he was. But cool accent and strange hairdo aside, I managed to be pretty geeked about the VMAs. After all, 2007-2008 was and still is a pretty damn good year for music, and videos are actually starting to look discernible and have concepts again. Ne-Yo is writing everyone’s hit songs, T-Pain is singing everyone’s hook like the second coming of Roger & Zapp. Lupe, Kanye, and N.E.R.D. are pretty much on top of the world (in my opinion), and Lil’ Wayne’s crackpot lines have everyone pretty much considering him to be the best rapper alive, since the best rapper retired (wow, that line is dated....Blueprint 3 coming soon, lol).

As much as I want to say that I'm disappointed in the VMAs, I can't exactly pretend as though I didn't expect last night to turn out exactly how it did. I had to re-check myself on how much I expected out of MTV. Keep it real, we are talking about a station that wouldn't touch a record from the "Black demographic" 25 years ago. I couldn't possibly bear to hammer down and itemize the total tragedies of the night, so here's my take on the two hours of my life that thank God, I didn't carve out solely to waste on VMAs. Big ups to multitasking, my night wasn't a complete L. In no particular order:

Russell Brand: Completely hilarious. I knew he would be my type of guy when during a commercial for the VMAs, he said “Outkast is coming, and Rosa Parks will be in if she can catch the bus.”… as much as it's insensitive, it's hilarious. Sometimes, you just gotta laugh. He’s an equal opportunity offender, the best kind to be (lol). His greatest line all night: “Americans, on behalf of the world, please elect Barack Obama.” Sweet.

T-Wayne: I’m just wondering what concoction of drugs they did pre-show. And how come no "I Can't Believe It"? I can't believe that...

Did anyone notice how extra, UBER nice everyone was to Brittney Spears? MTV was forreal saying “Our bad for letting you make a damn fool of yourself, and for giving TMZ and Perez Hilton countless rounds of ammo for years to come.” Come on, really? I mean, I'm glad her trainwreck of a life is finally back on track, but her Betty Ford comeback is hardly worth 3 awards. "Piece of Me" was just not that great of a song, or video. Just for kicks, here it is, in case you forgot what happened at the 2007 VMAs:

Wait, I’m sorry, did the Pussycat Dolls just beat out Ne-Yo AND Chris Brown for best DANCE in a music video? Who in the hell made THAT decision, Hugh Hefner?!?! I’m sorry, but even if you combined all 5, 6, 7, (or however many of them there are) of their BEST moves, you couldn't amass enough talent to fit inside Ne-Yo’s elbow. And if you really disagree with me, I challenge you to solve this riddle: name all the other members of the group, besides Nicole Scherzinger. I'll give you a dollar if you can, seriously.

Breaking the bash-session to say something nice…well kinda nice. Rihanna has become digestible to me. For years I have written her off as a talentless, Beyonce jr. with an alien-esque forehead (like I’m one to talk, right? lol). But in recent months, she has actually managed to make me like "Take A Bow" (although my nagging suspicion that Ne-Yo wrote the song was later confirmed), and I have become a fan of her style (big ups to her stylists). Now if I can only figure out what the hell "Disturbia" is about…

TI: Pretty good performance, although I would have LOVED to see “Swagger Like Us”… The only person that wasn’t on stage that night was Jay. Side note: was he wearing his ankle bracelet?

Yeezie: "Love Lockdown" actually debuted a few weeks ago at the L.A. Coliseum at the Nike Human Race… loved it then, love it even more now. He's arrogant to a point of nausea, he's the only grown ass man I've seen throw temper tantrums, and I cant quite make out the purpose of his blog (other than to say hey I bet u can't afford this, but I can) but damnit, I love Kanye, and I cant front on it. Some people are just blessed with an extraordinary gift, and when you witness it, you just cant front on it.

Overall ranking: C+ (it could've been a B- but, you know how it is when you're right on the brink of a higher grade, and how the professor feels about you makes ALL the difference). It just escapes me how some of the greatest people in music are ALL under one roof, and are marginalized to side stage performances on the way to commercial break, or reading two lines from a teleprompter (I’m insulted on behalf of Lupe Fiasco, Matthew Santos, John Legend and others). I’m STILL trying to figure out how the same four songs managed to pop up in damn near every category: "Piece of Me" (Brittney), "Burnin' Up" (Jonas Brothers), "Damaged" (Danity Kane), and "When I Grow Up" (Pussycat Dolls). Damn those songs suck, in comparison to what's come out since last year's VMA's. No wait, they suck all on their own accord. MTV, you’re killin' me.

Oh, thats right - MTV does an awesome job of killing music. Damn, is there any hope for 2009?

Til Next Time,

-- Crown Royal On Ice --

Weekend Laughs

   

My sister has been on my head about checking out this website with some of the funniest ish ever.  So I finally did, and boy am I in love. Somebody who has way too much time on their hands took the liberty of breaking down some of the most memorable hip-hop lines ever in chart and graph form.  I'm a dork, so this is kinda stuff is hilarious to me.  Click "funniest ish" to see more.... But I took the liberty to include some of the more humorous ones.  There are PLENTY more on the website.

I was gonna go to work, but then I got high....           

 

Hey, remember Amil?LOL.

Now, who's hot who's not, tell me who rock, who sell out in the stores....

  

And now my grandmama ain't the only one callin me baby....

I'm a hustla baby, I just want you to know...

   

Hey, where IS Peety Pablo???

I hope you're laughing as hard as I am... if not, oh well.  I still think its funny.

Til Next Time, 

-- Crown Royal On Ice --

...And I Wonder, Do You Know, What it Means, to Find Your Dreams?...

"I been waitin' on this my whole life,
These dreams be wakin' me up at night..."
- Kanye West, I Wonder
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As September settles in and the summer fades away, I can't help but feel a little restless, and a little lost. Most of my friends that are my age are either already in grad school, working on PhD's, or launching amazing careers in their respective fields. Yet here I am, sitting at the crossroads like Bone Thugs N Harmony.

How many of us really know what we want out of life? Put your hand down, silly - I'm not talking about a nice home, a nice car, and financial stability - we all want that. Many of us find ourselves meandering through college because it's the game we have to play to position ourselves to be successful in this society. Some of us take it a step further, and get to college and pursue degrees in fields we force ourselves to feign an interest in, slaving toward material dreams of six figure salaries and cars we can't quite properly pronounce. And my heart goes out to friends I know that have had their academic passion smoldered by overbearing parents with unfulfilled dreams.

Earlier this week, I was challenged by a friend to sit down and think about my life. Despite my 'been there, done that, I've had fifty-leven counselors, goal grids, and plans of actions' attitude, he forged ahead and asked me some "critical questions": What is it that I really want? What are my goals? What am I passionate about? I answered that ish on autopilot - c'mon dude, how many times have I been asked that? Really?!?!
"I'm passionate about education. I love working with students. I want to teach, and help level the playing field in this f*cked up K-12 system we've got going here."
"And that makes you feel good, right?"
"Absolutely."
"Of course it does. Who doesn't feel good about helping people that need it? I'm not gonna tell you what to do, but sit down and think about what you truly love, what you truly enjoy, and the talents God gave you. Maybe that's your path, maybe its not. All I'm sayin' is just think."

I'm hardheaded and stubborn, and I absolutely hate being told what to do, or being questioned, and even worse, I'm a terrible listener. But sometimes, I'm able to just surrender, and not be so defensive. I figured this would be a good time for that. So I did - I sat down and reflected on all the things I've ever wanted to do: marine biology, environmental science, music/entertainment PR, physical therapy, music journalism, english teacher, entertainment lawyer, policy legislator, bartender. I'm a visual person, so writing everything out helped me see a clear stream of thought amidst this mess. I couldn't help but notice the repetition and overlap in certain areas. Music. Entertainment. Journalism. English. Wait - what's this about?

I traversed my memory through every year of my undergraduate career, and I picked up on the fact that the bug to do something musical bit me about every year or so. I remember really wanting to act on it, but I couldn't fathom stepping outside my comfort zone. Why risk it? I already know what I need to do to teach. I see the path to public policy. I know how to organize people. I can't do this music stuff - I got students to work with, classes to take, and programs to run. I don't even know if I'd be any good, anyway. I gave myself more excuses about that then why I haven't been to the gym in three weeks.

"it wasn't the right time. You weren't ready. God has a time for everything." (Thanks, Bonita)

Settling back into my September slump, I take stock of my situation. I've got two degrees, and a resume completely in no way, shape, or form related to this dream of mine. The old Crown Royal would be hesitant, and ready to fire off another round of excuses. But not this time. I'm ready.

I can't remember the last time I was this excited about anything. I know I've never been so thrilled about something so uncertain.

"...And I wonder, do you know
What it means,
To find your dreams...."

I know what it means...do you?

-- Crown Royal On Ice --
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Crown Royal is now currently pursuing a career in music journalism and public relations. Her website, SprayPaint 'n InkPens will be up and running soon. Keep it locked for more details.

Musical Interlude Amidst the Political Madness....

I smell greatness....

Mr. G's to Gents himself, Kanye West, Sa-Ra, and Andre 3000... Everybody/C.O.L.O.U.R.S. video is finally here!!! Good music is here to stay.....


love. listen. enjoy.

You may like this, you may hate this... but Ne-Yo has practically guaranteed New Kids On The Block (name change, perhaps?) a great comeback with the single "Single". Peep the video:




Coming soon from Crown Royal On Ice:
"Crooked Officer, Crooked Officer, Why You Wanna See Me in a Coffin, Sir?"

www.spraypaintxxinkpens.com, up and running soon :)

Yep, The GOP Is The Butt of ALL My Jokes

Now that you've met her kids (Moose, Axle, Sled, Rifle and Iceblock), and gotten her stance on the issues (unfit parenting, beauty pageants, and so-on), its time to pick up Sarah Palins best-selling books!!! These books flew off the shelves in Alaska, and every resident owns at least one - all 12 of them!!! Don't miss out! Order your copy today!!!!!

Collect Sarah Palin's HOT New Books:

Baking Cookies and Birthing Babies: How I Singlehandedly Set Women Back

From PTA to Presidential Co-Pilot: How You Too Can Aspire to a Job You're Highly Unqualified For

I've Got an Ice Block Where My House Used to Be: Running a State With More Penguins Than People

Get yours before they're gone!!!!

Original Quote of the Day

"He has an erogenous zone under his wisdom teeth - rub his gums while licking his cheek to drive him wild!"

~Crown Royal on Ice spoof on bed tricks found in Cosmopolitan Magazine

Love Triangles and Me.

There are three things that I find myself constantly talking about to anyone who will listen: 1- Politics 2- Black People 3- Black Love. Even when I'm in line at the grocery store, even when I'm in class, and even when I'm at the club, any combination of these three things are on my mind. I don't love these three topics individually, though. I love them as one, because to me, you can't discuss one without discussing at least one other.


You see, whenever we talk about Black people, we're talking about politics. Being Black is being political, both when we talk positively and negatively about us.Whether we're discussing the low numbers of Black students on college campuses or being the first Black anything to do something thats been in existence for the past 300 years.

When we talk about the relationships we have with one another, our Black experiences inform that conversation, even when we don't realize it. For example, the way that I interact with my boyfriend (next time I have one) or my best friend is an extension of a whole host of social issues that have shaped the way that I view the world as it relates to my sense of self and, by extension, my sense of Blackness.

And don't tell me that Black Love isn't a political action, because the majority of our prison systems, foster systems, and every other system that denotes a breakdown in the Black community, relies heavily on us not loving each other enough. Simply put, Black Love is a form of resistance.

Even though I'm caught up in a love triangle with Politics, Black folks, and Black Love, trying to better understand their relation to one another, I believe, has helped me be stronger in all three areas. It's also facilitated my obession with the Obama family, who so effortlessly demonstrates an even understanding of all three with dignity, no less.

Say what you want about the Obamas not representing the interests of Black folks enough, but watching them has helped me shape my vision of my future as an advocate for Black people and even as a wife. Barack and Michelle have reminded me that Black love and, more importantly, the Black family has been one of the greatest political battles we have fought for, stemming from the first trip across the middle passage.

Oh, how they've tried for centuries to keep the Black family broken and, consequently, make true Black Love seem unattainable. I don't mean to imply that we've never seen an example of a Black family before, but the Cosby's weren't real, and Will and Jada have some kind of freaky swinger stuff goin' on (I do love them, though).

Watching Barack and Michelle hold hands with their children after he accepted the nomination was the realest and most substantial thing I've ever seen on TV and they, believe it or not, are real people on the American stage. Wow.

So with pride, I'm re-dedicating myself to my three loves because I truly do believe that they are essential to the forward progression of Black people. We need to invest ourselves into understanding where we fit into American society and the world at large. We need to hold each other accountable for being political and fight to change what we don't like about how we're fitting in. Most importantly, we need Black Love and strong Black Families for the continuation of our genes if, for nothing else, to keep us motivated to fight the good fight.

To be or not to be: A Crazy Black Woman

Once upon a time, I was convinced that a fellow classmate of mine and I were destined to be together. Every random thought I'd had, he spoke before the words even escaped my mouth. Every silly joke I thought was hilarious, he laughed at too. We'd spend hours on the phone every night, eat in the dining halls together daily, and always manage to find each other in between classes. Then, one day, he stopped returning my calls.

I frantically searched for clues that would explain the sudden wall he'd put between us. I checked his Facebook wall daily, looking for posts from other girls he may have recently become interested in. I'd strategically place myself in his eyeline whenever I saw him, only to be ignored. I casually texted him once or twice a week-no response.

I finally broke down on the phone one night after he'd finally returned my call and, through light tears, asked why he'd broken things off so abruptly. His response: "I don't know, that's just how I am sometimes." My response: "Oh."

Educated and attractive Black women, I believe, are especially susceptible to the I-Know-You-Want-Me-I-Have-it-All Syndrome when it comes to dating Black men. Fellas, we know how hard it is to find a Black woman that's goin' places (its even harder to find a Black man), and tend to feel as though the Black man has struck gold when he actually gets the chance to date us (at least, I do).

Not only does the I-Know-You-Want-Me-I-Have-it-All Syndrome encourage us to place ourselves on a pedestal amidst the plethora of baby-mamas, gold diggers, White girls, Asian girls, Latina girls, downlow brothas (yeah, I said it), and every other Jane (or John) Doe out there lookin' for the same successful brotha, it tends to make us-uh- trip a little when we aren't treated like the queens that we are by the brothas that are supposed to want us. Oh, what a tangled web we weave.

However, this isn't a post about the troubles associated with dating Black men (though, that would generate tons of comments) , it's about finding happiness through stepping away from the redial button and repeating the following phrase: He's just not into me like that, and that's OKAY.

Ladies, I know it's hard to believe that every Black man isn't checkin' for you, but it's a truth we will all have to accept if we're ever going to find true happiness, both with ourselves, and potential partners in the future.

True story: I once knew of a girl who sat outside of her ex-boyfriend's apartment with night vision binoculars, gawking through his window, as he entertained another female friend. Even though I'm sure none of my readers are as outwardly crazy as this chick, the fact is most of us will spend just as much energy as she did wondering what's up with that brotha who suddenly stopped calling.

Most of us will excessively psycho-analyze a guy by diggin' deep into his past of broken hearts, fatherless homes, childhood pains, medical emergencies etc, just to come up with a logical reason why he stopped calling. Once we come up with a reason that seems logical to our crazy asses (yes, crazy), what happens next?



You: "Hey,(insert name here) I just want you to know that you're clearly suffering from commitment issues as a result of your father's leaving when you were 5. I've also decided that the case of pneumonia you had when you were 13 rendered you fearful of getting too close with anyone. I'm a good woman, and you know it." Him: Click. See how you suddenly look crazy?

Bottom line is, it is essential to the survival of the Black race that we move on from brothas who simply aren't into us like that and onto the next. Let's stop trying to save the objects of our affection from the hell of not having us in their lives. Yes, I'm sure he was the best you ever had, had three degrees, and played ball on the weekends, but we've got to start learning to move on from men who simply don't want us and, more importantly, be okay with that.

Ladies, we need to cure ourselves of the I-Know-You-Want-Me-I-Have-it-All Syndrome. Yes, you do, in fact, have it all, but he may not necessarily want you. PERIOD. Furthermore, we need to stop trying to be something that we aren't just to be some guy's perfect woman. Jesus was perfect and loved everyone unconditionally and people still hated him--so let that fact be your lesson, and put down the night vision goggles, duct tape, and rope--he's just not feelin' you like that.