LuvBomb...YouTube Edition

The moons and stars have aligned and Beyonce Season is upon us, y'all! Just when we forgot who the Queen B is, and started jockin' this chick...

I don't care what you think of the songs (eh), Bey is the flyest chick in the game. Check the choreography in "Single Ladies."




The song is whatever, but the video's concept got me a lil pissed at all the times my girls and I have been severely under appreciated...

Beyonce - If I were A Boy (New) [HQ]
by Le-Tour-2Lor

Bey's dude in the car is aiight, but the chick he's rollin' with is a major downgrade...I know it's a video, but ain't it always a downgrade for the brothas who mess up with us?

In Case you Missed it...YouTube Edition

My best friend and I were YouTubing the other night, and came across these videos of Barack Obama dancing on Soul Train and in an old school music video. In the Soul Train clip, fast forward to the last 20 seconds or so of the video for Obama in a brown suit. Or if you're really bored, just watch the whole clip for some extra laughs.

P.S., isn't it nice to know that Palin brought "shout outs" to the mainstream? Now, when I'm writing my Shakespeare final, I can give a shout out to da big homie Othello 'cause his pimp hand is way strong with that Desdemona chick.

Soooooooul Train!



The Realness...



Say Whaaaat??



Sidebar: Who knew that White people actually knew the phrase "shout out?" Since I'll bet they eliminated the idea that it was a stain remover, I'm sure that it came up on google's most searched for terms this week.


Ok, I know that neither are Obama and the second video is just a Rick Roll, but hey...with the economy in the state it's in and Sarah Palin winkin' and talkin' all folksy so damn much, I figured it'd be nice to have a few lighthearted moments with respect to politics. Good Times.

Time out from LuvBomb's usual...T.V. Edition

Since their own network won't give them any publicity (SMDH), Bonita will spend a couple minutes trying to keep the only two Black shows on network T.V. from being canceled. Side note: Is this really how pathetic network TV is without UPN? Damn shame. Heeeeeere we go:

The Game, The C.W. Fridays at 8pm.



Centered around the Melanie and Derwin drama, the third season showed us that Melanie obviously hasn't been reading LuvBomb, because she's ventured into a land where no woman should trespass- accepting her cheatin' ass man's baby mama drama for the sake of love.

Upon hearing that her estranged pro-baller boyfriend has gotten his current girlfriend, Jenay, pregnant, Mel declares that Jenay is lying and proceeds to rip the shirt off of D's back in a fit of sexual passion. *Side Eye* to that. Even after Derwin confirms that Jenay is 100% pregnant with his child and that she would be better off without him, Melanie tells him that it doesn't matter and that he won't get rid of her that easily. *Super side eye, and double SMH*

Obviously on a budget, Friday's episode made damn good do with what they had, and the themes it explored were definitely worthy of staying in on a Friday night. It even got me wonderin' how much one should sacrifice for the one they love. Also, for those of you who don't remember, all of the characters used to live their lives in their respective bubbles, but last night's episode illustrated the personal chaos that erupts when our bubbles are burst.

Drama abound and with plenty of character growth and transformation (playas in love, football player wives demanding divorce, good girls gone bad), The Game should be one of the best shows on TV this fall, as long as the CW doesn't do them GF style and chuck them the deuce.

Everybody Hates Chris, The C.W.- Friday's at 8p.m.

In the 4th season opener, Chris ventures out of Junior High and into High School, which somehow doesn't meet his expectations when he realizes that not being the only Black kid in school isn't as great as he'd thought. The White kids don't pay attention to him and the Black kids think he's too nerdy, but that only adds for heightened comedy.



I have to admit that Chris Rock's dry humor delivered by a super talented cast is more than enough to make this the best Black comedy on TV today (even if there was a whole lot of competition). Friday's episode rested on all of the running jokes and character quirks that fans like myself haven't grown tired of yet. For example, Chris' closet (or not so closeted) racist teacher from JH ends up being his principal in HS and says something along the lines of "Well Chris, I reserved a room for you in the advanced homeroom just in case you didn't become a baby daddy, a crack slanger, or gang member over the summer." Good times.

Unlike The Game, I'm glad that EHC didn't veer too far away from what's made the show good the past three seasons- the show explores some good themes in terms of race relations, but still, it ain't that deep. Once again, I just have to pray EHC makes it through its fourth season, since we see how they do us over at the C-more-white-people-W (WTF Privileged???) Network.

The Ex-Games

I'm sure we've all heard the phrase that dating is an extreme sport...even when you aren't really dating. Until now, I didn't really understand what that meant. After taking the advice of my friends, I decided to put myself more "out there," in hopes of finding one (or more) guy(s) to go to the movies with, chill with at the apartment, and the various etceteras that boys and girls do. Alas, I haven't had the luck I was hoping for "out here," and the alternative seems to be an increasingly better option (if only the alternative was a choice and not biologically determined...sigh)

I call the dating we do after a break-up the Ex-Games, because if only we weren't somebody's ex, we wouldn't be out here playing/ caught up in them. Consequently, the ridiculousness of the Ex-Games has me wondering which is the lesser of two evils: Dealing with one person's drama or dealing with 5 people's crazy? Let's keep it real, folks, most of these people in the realm of "out there" are, in fact, crazy or R-cubed (really, really ridiculous). Also, please note that I'm not just talkin' about the triflin' dudes, I'm talkin' about the game playin', insecure young ladies as well (no male bashing on LuvBomb, though that would generate a lot of comments).

Ridiculous guy moment #1- Guy A sends me a text (it should have been a phone call, though) asking if I would like to go out. Even though it was a school night, and I had a nice amount of work to do, I agreed because, well...the boy is foine. Looking forward to seeing him, I ask what time he'll be over my way. Silence. Things get complicated as Guy A proceeds to tell me that he doesn't like driving to the women he dates because "he got played that way last time." Even though I reminded him of the time that I've made the 35 minute mission down the 405 to his 'hood in the past, he didn't seem to see the logic in the boy-asks-girl-out-boy-picks-girl-up model. Needless to say, the date didn't happen.

Ridiculous guy moment #2 (label this one "wowsers") - Guy B from the Bay sends me a text (it should have been a phone call though...come on!) letting me know that he'll be in L.A. for the weekend and that he would like to meet up while he's down here. I agreed that we could kick it because, well...the boy is foine. The date of his arrival descends upon us annnnnd...he misses his flight. Why? Because he was "playin' video games for money and the lady at the airport said they would hold the flight, but her ass didn't." I know you're probably asking, "Damn, Bonita what type of dudes you be messin' with?" I. Don't. Know.

Even though I smelled a rat, the saga with Boy from the Bay continued when he assured me not to worry because he'd just come in the morning. He even asked if I could pick him up from the airport, and I agreed (under the condition of gas money, of course) because, well...the boy is foine. The following morning is upon us and then...the text messages start (at 7am).

Text 1- Aye I thought my flight got in at 9, but it's really leavin at 9.
Text 2- Aye my 9am flight was delayed 'til 10.

Text 1, yeah maybe. Text 2, yeah right, Homie. Confirming my 12 hour suspicion that I was being lied to, I checked his flight status, and all was well with Southwest Airlines. At that point, I could not wait until 10 to hear what he'd have to say, though I wasn't going to call him out since that would be unnecessary drama with an obviously crazy person (I mean, why go through all of this if you aren't crazy?).

Boy from the Bay asked "ya feel me?" about 15 times in the four minutes he spent on speaker phone with my friend and me explaining how he was just gonna cash out and, um, uh, sniff, 'cause um, they trippin' at the airport, yadadamean? He even made up a few terms like "jug jug (?)" in his explanation of why he wasn't coming.

So what was really hood with Boy from the Bay? Who knows? Maybe he was home, or really in L.A. the whole time and decided he had something better to do. I'm actually pretty confident that he was really in Alaska with Sarah Palin, though, playin' video games and enjoying the view of Russia from her house (that would make a lot more sense). Although, I should be thankful that he would still like to see me sometime and I am so glad he reminded me not to be a stranger (I'm sure he even did the Palin wink as he said this). We'll always have Oakland.

Now, as thankful as I am that I have friends who care about my well-being, I can't believe no one mentioned that, as hard as it is to be a pimp, it's even harder to be "out there" when everyone you talk to is trying to be a pimp.

Also, let the record show that a lot of women, like myself, aren't looking for their next relationship while we play in the Ex-Games as we extend ourselves "out there" into the black hole of Black dating. Most of my friends and I are simply looking for a friend (or 2) who doesn't suffer from various transportation related issues. As I'm finding out, however, it's cold "out there," and maybe we're just better off staying inside. I'm cool on all the wackness for now.

WE INTERRUPT YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED LUVBOMBING TO BRING YOU A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FROM CROWN ROYAL ON ICE

My fellow Americans, it has come to my attention that many political pundits and Republican supporters find Sarah Palin's repeated winking charming, or endearing. Here at LuvBomb, we operate on the wavelength of truth, and could not bear to allow the perpetuation of this misinformation to continue. It is with complete confidence that I say unto you that winking is not a political strategy. I repeat – winking is not a political strategy. Despite what you may have seen, thought, heard, or been told, winking is not a political strategy. Winking will not fix the messes we've made abroad, and the wars we've started. Winking will not stabilize Wall Street, or end the sub-prime mortgage meltdown. Winking will not eradicate global warming. It will not win you an election, and it certainly won't make us forget you told Katie Couric "I'll find one and get back to ya".

Repeat after me - winking is not a political strategy.


We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog reading. Thank you.

Debating For Dummies, By Sarah Palin

I'm always lookin' out for my folks, especially when it comes to new/hot/fresh/dope ish. And keeping in that tradition, I wouldn't feel right if I didn't hit ya'll with a preview of Sarah Palin's newest book: Debating For Dummies. She wrote it all by herself, right before tonight's Vice Presidential Debate. She boasts that it's her kinda book - where she may not get the chapters right, but she's writing straight for us, the American people out there that want answers. DFD is slated to hit major book stores right before the Presidential Debate on October 7th. Hopefully McCain can use some of the tactics she employed to win us all over.


Chapter 1: Wink Like There's No Tomorrow
That’s right – wink like you’re party depends on it, because actually, they do! Sure, it undermines and in some ways hypersexualizes you as a woman but hey! Who cares? You don't care about silly things like credibility and respect - you're a Washington outsider! Do away with those zany preconceived stuffy notions that a debate is a serious medium that millions of Americans will watch in an effort to determine who’s best to guide their next 4 years in this country. Wink away!!!

Chapter 2: Buzzwords, Buzzwords, Buzzwords!
Maverick. Partisanship. Nuclear Proliferation. Job Creation. Sure, you probably can’t spell them, and you have even less of a clue about what they mean, but that doesn’t matter! Tell ‘em you’re depends-donning running mate is a maverick – don’t worry, Katie Couric isn’t there to ask you why. So what if you can’t even say NU-CLE-AR right – you’re just a regular Joe six-pack that had to go to about six different colleges before you finished your degree in Journalism! What do they expect from you? Good thing 'straight talk express' isn't your catch phrase. Be sure to tell 'em that you're all about nuclear proliferation here for the hardworking people of America, and determined to make sure there's no job creation for those awful terrorists and dictators over there in Afghanirakistan. Oh phooey, switch that around. Or wait - which one is it? Phone a friend. Tina Fey had the right idea.

Chapter 3: Jab First, Answer Question…Never.
What better way to answer a question than to come out swinging?!? Be crass. Show ‘em that you can hang with the big boys. “Keep it real”, as some would say. Screw it – don’t even answer the question. And if they try to call you on it (like that bee-yotch Katie Couric did, or that punk Mr. Charlie) – accuse the Senator of being sexist, and the Moderator of playing favorites. Yea that’s right – you’re the Governor of the big bad state of Alaska – and you don’t gotta take shit from no one - Russia included. Keep up that winking!!!

Chapter 4: If You Don’t Know It – Change the Subject
Still feeling the pressure to answer those question-thingies? Well don't worry, I've got the solution right here! Change the subject! It's not so hard; when Miss-I’m-So-Cool-Because-I'm-Black-and-a-Black-Man-is-Running-for-President-and-I-Wrote-a-Book-on-Him Moderator asks you a tough question about the economic crisis, talk about energy! Drill, baby, drill! Oh – don’t forget to drill baby drill into people's heads that Alaska is an energy producing state, with tons of oil and natural gas. The American people will want to hear that about 50 or so times. And when they ask you about exit strategies from Iraq – just make up some shit! Talk about North Korea, and how your son just got deployed! And if they dare ask you about taking over as President if you win (which you won't) and McCain dies (which he….yeah), talk about education! Dig deep! And if all else fails – talk about your family! Tractor, Igloo, Icerod, and little Rifle! Hell – bring ‘em on stage if it helps! And don’t forget those buzzwords!

Chapter 5: Give Shoutouts.
You know you’re having a time getting those Black folks to vote Republican. Damn that Senator Obama and Senator Obiden. Maaaybe, just maaaybe you can appeal to them by doing something they're notorious for – no, not dancing. No, not rapping either. But you’re close. Give shoutouts!!! That’s right. Smack dab in the middle of a question you’re not answering, riiiight about when you start bringing up your family for the 8th time, say: “I’d like to give a shout out to all the kids in my hood – SP love da kids! Oh, and don’t forget my fam, and the homies behind the walls – the ice walls!” That’ll get you the street cred you need. Sure you’ll make an absolute fool out of yourself, but that’s nothing you're foreign to!

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Still feel like you’re in over you're head? You should. After all, you’ve demonstrated on more than one occasion that you have no idea what you’re talking about, and really have no firm grasp on anything besides your hunting gun and your Bible. But that’s okay, because you're a Joe six-pack maverick Washington outsider hockey mom. And that’s what the people really need – sub par intellectual capability, a world view that traverses the expanse of the narrow maritime border between Alaska and Russia, and a candidate who can’t quite explain what the job entails! You're on your way to the top!

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Crown Royal's Final Thought:

At the end of the day, I don’t want Joe-six pack (or Caribou Barbie, as one of my friends calls her), sitting in that seat of power. If the average person has the faculties to run a country, I’ll run in 2012, because that means I'm OVERqualified. At the end of the day, I want extreme competence, intellectual superiority, and common sense making decisions that will affect me for the next 4 years. I want my President, my VP, my whoever – to wake up in the morning, and piss excellence. America has a lot of problems – and I need to be confident that the leadership's solutions are better than mine.